Thursday, July 14, 2011

I'm NEVER...EVER Moving Again

In my post yesterday I set out to chronicle the trials and tribulations of moving from one home into a new one. Today we continue that journey; this time focusing on one of the less physically challenging aspects. For the record, mentally challenging tasks are FAR more insidious since Ben-Gay does not work when your brain is sore. Today's topic? the changing over of the utilities.

This task always seems like it will be so much easier than it turns out to actually be. In our case this involves only three items. "Only three" is deceptive because those three seemingly simple transfers of service would have stopped Hercules easily had they been on his trials to win over King Eurystheus.

Since we only have limited options as to who provides these necessary services, I will refrain from making specific mentions of who did what to make our lives more trying. Rest assured that there were plenty of aspects that they shared in common to make my point.

Were he still with us, it would have brought great joy to Einstein to see his theories on the mutability of time proven valid by these utility companies. They bend, fold and manipulate time in ways once thought to be only theoretical. Allow me to provide you an example of just what they are able to do.

With each provider the first step is to speak with a representative to schedule the changeover. Here begins the physics lesson. My first call I made I was informed that due to high call volume my wait time would be about 40 minutes. I figured it might not really take that long and settled in to wait. During that call the automated system informed me the wait time had changed to 45 minutes. Yes...time was moving backwards! Impressive. It eventually occurred to me that it WAS going to take that long and I opted to leave a number they could call me back at when they were free. Two hours later (uhh...what happened to the 45 minute time frame) they were, apparently, free to call me back. Oh noo...why would I think THAT? I answered the phone only to be told by the automated system that I was about to be connected. Some 15 minutes later I was. I'm glad they were "free" to call me back.

What happened next was another exercise in time dilation or displacement. This particular provider told me they could disconnect my service HERE immediately but had nobody available to turn things on THERE until early next week. I specifically asked them NOT to turn the service off HERE because we would need it until THERE was up and running. A very kind lady told me this would be no problem. Her definition of "no problem" differs from mine since early today we realized the service was shut off HERE. A quick (45 minute) time later another nice lady told us there had been a "miscommunication" and they could turn us back on early next week...not very helpful there. So we're learning to live life without ___. (I did promise not to name the guilty parties.)

And thus the ordeal continues. Any of them can stop service HERE at the click of a keystroke but can't start things up THERE without someone coming out to do something which will happen some time in the near-distant future. No matter how often I have done this, I ALWAYS forget that little glitch. I suspect my brain just blocks the memory out as simply too traumatic. Well the trauma is baaack in all of its...traumatic-ness. I'm pretty sure that's NOT a word but I'm just too tired to care. More fun to follow as the ordeal drags on. Pray for us...we may well need Divine Intervention at some point soon.

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