Saturday, September 10, 2011

Progeny Performance Evaluation

Today, my son, you're two years old and grand as that may be,
No time to rest on laurels for you're headed on to three.
And so to lend you guidance and insure you do not lack,
It seems high time to furnish you with targeted feedback.

You look so like your daddy and you act like him most days.
For that you gain some favor and a healthy bit of praise.
Although I know you realize and understand for sure
That Mommy would approve if you could sometimes act like her.

Your mother would appreciate if her sweet little boy
Could make an effort not to use her as a chewing toy.
Perhaps you fail to realize the pain that you will find
The next time that you bite her and she pays you back in kind.

Now let's move on to eating where you truly are the king.
You get more stuff inside you and you don't waste anything.
You gobble down your veggies and you even ask for more.
We rarely need to ask you not to dump them on the floor.

We note here that your bottle still remains a constant need.
A sippy cup would make you look more debonair indeed.
But on this point, it seems, your mom and I still disagree.
So no points plus or minus is how that one's gonna be.

Now as regards your diapers and the things you leave inside
I think we both agree you could be far more dignified.
Since you're only two I guess it's pointless my complaining
You will not commit to any hardcore potty training.

Let's wind this up, I know that your attention span is short.
Of course, you know, you will get carbon copied this report.
And while it may not match up with the things you think or feel,
That's why we give you ten full days for filing an appeal.

And so to sum things up, you're doing rather well so far.
Some eagles and some birdies though in some ways merely par.
So after all the numbers have been crunched and then re-done
You truly earned your A plus as my precious little son!

1 comment:

  1. Loved this poem, good tongue-in-cheek humor but a real sense of love that I find endearing. Also there's just something charming about a rhyming performance evaluation.
    Especially love the idea of the sippy cup being debonair.