Friday, January 20, 2012

Friday Fictioneers: Dreams Not Shared

She stood high above him, silent and unseen. She watched him pace the concourse below, glancing fitfully at his watch.

He was a frenetic, endless wellspring of potential and possibility. She admired his fierce passion but did not share it. She knew she could never love him in the singular and all-consuming way that he loved her.

She'd promised to meet him...to go with him. He'd been so ebullient that she found she could not simply dismiss him out of hand.

She should have, for she knew she could never share his vision of the future. At length, she turned and walked out of his life. She wept a single bitter tear, knowing she could never miss him as tragically as he would miss her.

8 comments:

  1. Interesting... this is a terrific photo prompt. Where others see literal images, airport, shopping center, etc, and some see mystical images, like heaven, you see, I think, loneliness and construct a story from that. Well done.

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  2. Thanks for the feedback. I chose to use the photo as merely a setting rather than the focus. It did make a nice metaphor for her being swallowed up by the vastness of her inability to feel as he did.

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  3. I like how you melded the personal with the impersonal. You did something different and unexpected for me.

    Here's mine: http://furiousfictions.blogspot.com/2012/01/this-weeks-fridayfictioneers-challenge.html

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  4. Very nice choice of words. I love the emotional content as well!

    Don’t forget to post your story in today’s post as well. http://susielindau.com/2012/01/20/so-close-and-yet-100-word-flash-fiction/

    Also if you copy and past your link from the url it will put the http in there for you!

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  5. Harsh! That's sad, but I think she did the right thing albeit in a not so right way. If that makes sense. nice choice of words.

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  6. Thanks. It was intended to be very bittersweet with the only choice not really a good one at all

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  7. Once again, I have to say that your writing is wonderful. I think you captured that little love story nearly perfectly. My only tiny nitpick is the "single bitter tear " - which seems rather trite in a story that is anything but. She should probably weep many bitter tears - although perhaps they should not be bitter either, perhaps they should be regretful?

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  8. I considered this very carefully and decided that she seemed a somewhat cold and pragmatic sort. If she allowed herself any feeling over her decision, then it would be a one-and-done sort of affair. I just can't envision her allowing herself the luxury of regret. It was intended to be trite since she would be mortified to think of her reaction being so trite. THAT, in balance, would be more of a cause of unhappiness to her than either what she did or prolonged crying jags would be. Thanks for the feedback and hope this clarifies my intent.

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