Friday, April 20, 2012

Extraction




Zed ghosted through the undergrowth, hoping his miniature extraction beacon wasn’t damaged.  He collapsed onto the spongy ground of the clearing, making more noise than he had all day.

He had everything he needed to stitch his wound except a third hand to reach it. He hoped he wouldn’t bleed out before they arrived.

He focused his thoughts by counting the droplets that fell from the rock not three feet from his face. It was both soothing and practical. He wasn’t sure how long it took to realize they fell in time to the thrum from the incoming Huey’s blades. 

14 comments:

  1. A little different to the style of story I was expecting this prompt to...erm, prompt. :)
    Very nice, atmospheric piece that makes the reader hope his extraction arrives. The urgency works really well!

    Mine is this-a-way:
    http://garybaileywriting.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/fridayfictioneers-death-will-be-our-saviour/

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  2. Dear Jeffrey,

    An excellent effort given the prompt. Love the way the drips match the beat of the Huey blades. Very introspective and realistic.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/the-endless-sea/

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  3. This carries a lot of info and atmosphere in the small word count. Nicely crafted.

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  4. Nice one, I liked the line about 'everything except a 3rd hand.' I hope things work out for him.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/spellbound-friday-fictioneers-april-2012/

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  5. this is really vivid and descriptive, I like the way you portray the character's mental state through the narration too. Now I'm just hoping that the Huey is coming to save him, nothing more sinister.

    I’m over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/friday-fiction-maturity/

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  6. Really good. Packed a lot in 100 words. here's mine http://jemcogdell.blogspot.com/2012/04/flash-fiction-hope.html

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  7. I thought this was a truly well crafted little story - and all the detail about the clearing and the dripping water was perfect. I just don'tknow what a Huey is - and I am surmising it is a helecopter - but Helecopter is only one work and probably would have been a better choice - as Huey - the nickname, is kind of comical...
    Just saying,
    Laura
    Mine is really here this time: http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. A Huey is, in fact, a helicopter. As for the comical nickname, it is simply what it is called. According to the website http://hueyvets.com/glossary/ it states Huey is the "Common name for the UH-1 Iroquois utility helicopter". So the better choice, actually, is to call it what the MC would in this case.

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  8. This really made me feel I was the MC. Well done!

    Here's mine: http://wp.me/p24aJS-3Z

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  9. Wonderful, the dripping a time piece to his waiting rescue.

    Here's mine:http://teschoenborn.com/2012/04/20/friday-fictioneer-5/

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  10. You got me with "Huey's blades"... I suspect a helicopter but not sure. If so, I hope it arrives in time because he needs that 3rd hand. Clever depiction of the drip, drip dripping as a timepiece. Nice work. Here's mine.
    www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

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  11. Great scene. The title, description, imagery - everything worked together to paint a picture. Great job!

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  12. Well, I'm hoping the Huey is bringing that needed 3rd hand, but somehow I think not. Great job of building suspense.

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  13. Oh, he survived. Trust me. I know him. :)

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