Friday, May 25, 2012

Of Moths And McNuggets



“Can you see her, George, can you? Did she get our order, George? I don’t think she got our order, George.”

“Benny, will you shut up? She got our order. They’re just really busy. I’m tryin’ to get her attention now.”

“Did you go to the right window, George? She said the second window and I don’t think this is the second window, George.”

“It’s the second window, Benny. You always order the 20-piece McNuggets and they never got that many ready, so we gotta wait.”

“Mmm, tell me again about the McNuggets, George. Tell me?”

“Aww, Benny. Not now!!”

19 comments:

  1. Ahahaha. I imagine Benny is the moth under the ledge. This cracked me up.

    My attempt: http://unduecreativity.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/chasing-the-divine/

    ReplyDelete
  2. Of Moths and Men? I loved this story. Very well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    ReplyDelete
  3. I considered that but just didn't have the space to work it in. Glad you caught the reference to the esteemed Mr. Steinbeck.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great take on the prompt. I got the Steinbeck reference right from the start. Here's mine: http://postcardfiction.com/2012/05/25/despite-your-intentions/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Very convincing dialogue. Liked it.

    http://castelsarrasin.wordpress.com/2012/05/24/checkin-out-the-joint-friday-fictioneers-may-2012/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh boy. My image of luna moths as austere, noble creatures has been forever sullied. XD http://kaitlinandmichaelbranch.com/2012/05/25/angel-in-a-polyester-uniform/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Aww, brilliant bit of dialogue, and so finely tuned it took me a second to work out they were the moths talking. Nicely done! Today's posts are making me grin - everyone's on the lighter side of life today.

    ReplyDelete
  8. A fine take on the prompt, with a good blend of the two clues. I am here: http://readinpleasure.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/fridayfictioneers-preying-mantis/

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Jeffrey,
    Very fun story. Really enjoyed it. Vivid characters.
    My story is here: http://bridgesareforburning.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's a habit I'm going to have to change, but I seldom pay attention to titles. But after reading your very first paragraph (and then the first word of the second paragraph), I went back to check the title and to verify my suspicion. This is not because you were heavy-handed in your approach ... only because I am extremely familiar with the novel; I actually worked with other teachers and the education people at the Steinbeck Center in Salinas to develop a couple of units that teachers could use to teach "Of Mice and Men". You captured the dynamic between the main characters excellently!

    Mine offers a very different take (http://scottcheck.blogspot.com/2012/05/font-face-font-family-cambria-p.html) ... but so far it seems that the idea I was trying to communicate has eluded readers.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lol! Reminds me of big dog little dog! Funny! Here's mine http://createrealitylivelife.wordpress.com/2012/05/25/friday-flash-fiction-not-moving-on/

    ReplyDelete
  12. A Rain-man Moth conversation. Funny.

    Here's mine: http://thebradleychronicles.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ah, good old Steinbeck. Nicely done, Jeffrey. I liked the hope in the Moth's voice that they'll get their order. Fun tale.

    Here's mine: http://siobhanmuir.blogspot.com/2012/05/moths-date-100words-for.html

    Siobhan

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes, I can only echo the sentiment in so many of these comments. Your Moths and McNuggets story was really delightful - and a little sad, just like the book. A novel approach to the prompt.
    That's all I am going to say today.
    Yours as ever,
    Lindaura
    Here I am for those who are looking:
    http://fictionvictimtoo.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. Very funny. Sounds like a cartoon.

    Here's mine: http://logo-ligi.com/2012/05/25/mothballs/

    ReplyDelete
  16. It took me, too, a while to get it but once I did it was very funny – great dialogue. My two are at http://repuestodelatabla.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  17. Having a theatrical background myself, I immediately caught the reference to Steinbeck's classic "Of Mice and Men"...as your story captured the same rhythm as the dialogue in the script. Very clever use of the prompt. Well done. Here's mine:
    www.triplemoonstar.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete