Thursday, July 26, 2012

A Room At The Hilton


Lieutenant Colonel Jason “Nickelback” Nickerson awoke to the now-familiar sensation of a rat chewing at his exposed feet. He kicked the disgruntled rodent away and struggled to a sitting position. Checking the wound, he determined it was not all that severe in light of his wrenched knee but he would need to keep an eye on it in these conditions.

Taking the charcoal nub from inside his ragged flight suit he scratched on the chalky wall…214 days in Ho Loa and counting. He was pretty sure now that Bounder had died and Dragon hadn’t answered his tap code in two days but whether he had company anymore or not, he would make it through another 214 days if necessary to get back home. 

8 comments:

  1. Great atmosphere created in this piece - leaves me wanting to know more.

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  2. I really like this. It made me think of The Bridge on the River Kwai.

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  3. Now that's perseverance. Nice piece. :)

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  4. You really capture the grit of the scene and the tension of your main character's predicament. The end of the piece is particularly striking. You are a master of the short form, Mr. Hollar.

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  5. True perseverance this - well crafted.

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  6. Now that's what you call perseverance.
    A great read - thanks.

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  7. The determination/perseverance here is very gritty and atmospheric. Well done. x

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  8. Loved all the descriptions, and your interesting take on the prompt. nice job!

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