I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve had my fair share of one night stands. That’s always just worked better than getting’ tied down but I never forget a woman. That’s what was so weird about her.
She slid right up with a drink SHE bought ME and that was that. I don’t recollect what we talked about but no sooner did I finish my drink and call for another and…she was…gone. It was like she never existed. I didn’t see her anywhere and no way she walked out that fast. Or did she?
Well, there I am all confused and shit when this weird little dude plops down right where she just was. He was bald as an egg with thick glasses and a foot shorter than me. He gave off a really creepy vibe and I was definitely going home…until, he started talkin’.
“Amazing. You appear unaffected. Well, a bit disoriented but still in possession of all of your faculties, eh? Amazing.”
All I could do was nod. From the way his face lit up you’d have thought I just confirmed I was an alien.
“There’s only one possible explanation. You’ve never had a single serious, long-term committed relationship in your entire life, have you? I know, theoretically, such men exist but to actually meet one! No high school sweetheart, college live-in, no summer fling…none of that. It simply HAS to be so. That is the case, yes?”
Again, little dude was freakin’ me and no words would come, only another nod.
“You don’t know how lucky you are, sir. You simply have no idea. I’ve been tracking her for nearly twelve years and have never found an anomaly like you. She’s not human, you know? No, nothing of the sort; though she wears the disguise well enough I suppose.”
“My best guess is she’s a succubus or some sort of related being. Suffice to say, she’s the ultimate sexual predator. She reaches into a man’s mind and does…things to it. She draws out the memory of that one special woman who made all the buttons click in your life but that got away. She becomes her so fully, so completely you’d do anything to spend just one night…one hour with her. Of course, in the morning you’d be dead and she’d move on. That’s how it always goes.”
“But you don’t HAVE such a memory. It’s the only conceivable explanation. She reached inside of you and came out with an empty hand. She had no choice but to dissolve your memory of her entirely and look for other…prey. Oh, I’m sure that must have really irked her. She’s not fed since Racine and that was nearly three days ago. Well, sir, you’ll understand if I have to dash. Simply amazing!” With a clap on my shoulder he was off into the night.
I had several more very strong drinks before heading home…alone. If you think I had commitment issues before then how do you think I feel now?!?