Friday, August 3, 2012

Plucking A Weed


They were two hours into the patrol when his comm beeped.

“Hey, Gunny, some damned…pod just shot goo all over my visor. Gotta stop and clear it.”

“Negative, weed. Stand down, stand down!” As the gunny shouted, he knew his warning came too late.

He heard the familiar whip-crack sound as a creeper as thick as his leg discharged a huge thorn. It neatly transfixed the kid’s head from side to side.

He dropped in place, never even knowing what had killed him. Though they reduced the offending vine to oozing ruin, it was a bit too late to matter. 




This story was written for Friday Fictioneers hosted by  Madison Woods

9 comments:

  1. A great take on the prompt.
    Lots of action in just 100 words.
    Your writing left me with a clear image of what happened over this short period of time - some great imagery.
    Thanks for an enjoyable read.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your throwaway line at the end "it was a bit too late to matter". Nothing like a bit of humour in your horror.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very menacing, conjuring up some dreadful images. Nicely done.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Jeffrey,
    And I thought poison ivy was bad. You created one bad ass killer plant. It looks deadly in the photo, so your story is an accurate reflection of a tough photo prompt this week.
    Ron

    ReplyDelete
  5. Really cool piece of science fiction. The pacing was great, the descriptions, and his hardened, veteran attitude -- nice work!

    Brian (http://pinionpost.com/2012/08/03/the-lifeblood-of-the-paiik-tree/)

    ReplyDelete
  6. The breakneck pace of this piece reflects the reality of the story. It makes it hard to follow, but actually I like it - gives a real feeling of action and adrenaline, and the reader can work out what's happening with a bit of attention, so why not? Nice job
    I'm over here: http://elmowrites.wordpress.com/2012/08/03/friday-fiction-torment/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Good scifi piece.
    I'm here: www.rochelle-wisoff.blogspot.com/2012/08/wild-life.html

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lots of action, gruesome, threatening. Reminds me of a '50s sci fi movie--the military v the alien. Wonder who will win this one.

    Keli

    ReplyDelete