Friday, October 26, 2012

Contemplation & Condiments


Jude stared out the window of the motor lodge’s coffee shop and wondered if this was really such a good idea after all. 

A lot of years and a lot of water had passed under the metaphorical bridge that connected him and, eventually, conveyed him back home again.

A fine day for metaphors, he mused, glancing at the condiment tray on the table. Salt to grind into old wounds he’d never let heal, pepper to burn like the memories that peppered his mind each day and, perhaps, a spoonful of sugar to make swallowing his pride a bit more palatable. 



This story was written for the weekly Friday Fictioneers flash fiction challenge. My thanks to the wonderful Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for taking up the gauntlet of hosting. 

12 comments:

  1. Dear Jeffrey,

    Imaginative incorporation of the photo prompt and the focus of it into your story. Condiments; who would've thunk it?

    Aloha,

    Doug

    ReplyDelete
  2. There's a lot of backstory to be wondered at in that little tale - liked it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very unique and well drafted take on the prompt!
    Loved all the metaphorical references. Amazing work!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Jeffrey,
    You can't go home again, at least according to Thomas Wolfe. Great use of the condiments as metaphors for what your main character is feeling. Ron

    ReplyDelete
  5. Intriguing use of metaphors, Jeffrey. You certainl got me wondering what happened last time he was home, and what's going to come of opening up the past this time around.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I enjoyed this, the thought of a less than triumphant return, like taking his medicine ?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jeffrey, you did an excellent job of using the metaphors and telling a story that made me think.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like this slice of slow build before the character returns to whatever he's left behind. Almost like he's procrastinating by philosophizing. Nice work! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  9. A lot of apprehension on Jude's part that has me wondering what he's facing in returning home. Good build and creative use of metaphors and the prompt.
    (Thanks for calling me wonderful...I think all the FF's, including yourself are pretty wonderful.)

    ReplyDelete
  10. I loved the way you used the condiments. Great job.

    ReplyDelete

  11. This took some time and creative thinking on your part to connect the condiments and metaphors. So clever and enjoyable, I read it twice. Nice work.

    ReplyDelete