Sunday, October 21, 2012

Submissive Strength

Author's Advisory: This posting is erotica and may not be palatable to everyone's tastes. If such would, in fact, offend you, I encourage you to read no further. If such would appeal to you, I encourage you to read on and provide feedback as the spirit moves you.

He had promised her she would understand the full meaning of liberation and empowerment by the end of the night and she was only now beginning to believe how enlightened he was in such matters.

She’d never suspected by surrendering her body to the every sexual whim of another she would, at last, find a strength and a freedom never imagined before in her experience.

Every nerve ending in her body seemed to have been electrified and stimulated to the point she found it nigh impossible to focus her thoughts at all and could only surrender to an orgasmic state of total rapture. 

The rough planking of the floor abraded her back and buttocks…but she didn’t care. The taut muscles of her shoulders and knees screamed in protest as they were pushed beyond the borders of pain to an unexplored land of pleasure…but she didn’t care. His thick invasive fingers plunged in and out of her, fingernails scratching against her inner walls leaving a burning ache behind and yet…she didn’t care.

Her only desire was to please him sufficiently that he would continue his thorough, unrelenting, merciless exploitation of her body until she surrendered to unconsciousness from sheer sexual overload. 

This story was written for the weekly Sinful Sunday erotica flash fiction challenge. 


  1. I like the build up with the "…but she didn’t care," repeats, but think you might want to mix up your sentence lengths a bit more prior to this. Your sentences are all very long (I know, I know... I can't write short sentences either!), and I think it would build tension better if you followed the first one (I really like the flow of the first) or even two long sentences with a series of short ones, then maybe a long again before the repeated ellipses. Maybe?

    I also liked the voice and tone of the story right up to "Her only desire was to please him sufficiently that.." and then I felt a little confused because we suddenly shift focus here, which is good in some ways, but in such a short piece maybe there wasn't room to worry about HIS pleasure. Haha.

    Hmm. I've never commented on erotica before, so *throws arms in air* I probably have no idea what I'm talking about. But writing anything like "If such would, in fact, offend you, I encourage you to read no further," is pretty much guaranteed to make me read on.

  2. Thanks much for the feedback. I played with the sentence length but decided I was happy enough with it. I shifted focus to show she'd reached an understanding that mutual pleasure was an objective to be considered too. Again, thanks for the considered opinions.