Thursday, October 18, 2012

Sylvan Sadness


Another day of leaden gray skies and the frigid, ever-rising waters led Calvin to the inescapable conclusion this would, in all likelihood, be his last day of life before succumbing to the ravages brought on by the gigantic and entirely merciless meteor that had struck the planet.  

His roots no longer brought him the nutrients he needed to, if not flourish, at least survive and he’d nearly forgotten how glorious it had felt to bask in the energizing warmth of morning sunshine.

He supposed, as trees went, he’d had a pretty good run of it but never imagined he would end his existence in such a dismal and lonely manner. In the prime of his health, he’d watched, helplessly, as the wee saplings lost the very tenuous hold their young roots provided and were swept away only to be followed into oblivion by the stately and aged who had no desire to remain in a world such as this and thus surrendered to a dreamless sleep from which they would never awaken.

Feeling the final spark of sentience fading from him, Calvin reckoned that, most of all, he would miss the children who’d laughed and played in the scenic wonder of the park that he and his brethren had called home and, with his last bit of strength, he prayed that wherever he was destined to spend his afterlife the children might be there too.


This story was written for the weekly Five Sentence Fiction prompt: Flawed



11 comments:

  1. A lovely piece of work. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

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  2. Really well put, I loved the sentience of the tree! (coincidentally I'm using emotion from a tree in my NaNoWriMo effort!) Lovely structure and feeling in this piece.

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  3. That was lovely. Really nice work.

    Cheers,

    W.

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  4. Moving and nicely paced. Not at all wooden.

    I don't believe I've ever read anything from the PoV of a tree before. Very imaginative, and you carried it off well.

    Cheers!
    JzB

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  5. Thinking from the perspective of a tree is a very interesting thought exercise. You've come to some really interesting ideas.

    My favorite line: "gray skies and the frigid, ever-rising waters" As a reader, it's great to start with a crisp visual like this.

    Some critique-y stuff: Can more be left unsaid? For example, "ravages brought on by the gigantic and entirely merciless meteor that had struck the planet." Without this line, the mystery of the apocalypse carries a greater draw for me.

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  6. Trees are my favorite things. They tell a story with each twist of their branches. I love that you chose this direction with your sentences :)

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  7. A beautifully written, sad tale.
    I loved the idea of a tree having an afterlife - an interesting thought.

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  8. Thought provoking and lovely - in its sad and wistful way.

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  9. Thought provoking and lovely - in its sad and wistful way.

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  10. Beutifully written, I love that you gave the tree a name and an identity.

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