Saturday, November 3, 2012

Needless Accessories


The early Fall darkness and the crowds conspired to surprise Eddie when he looked and no longer saw Max at his side. He spotted him at, of all places, a booth selling sunglasses. 

Punching him, Eddie snapped, “Dude! What’s up? The sun went down an hour ago and, besides, we got girls waitin’ for us.”

“Yeah…I know. I just thought maybe some shades would make me look cooler to Trina.”

Eddie snorted, “Unless they cover your whole dorky face, it’s a lost cause, bud. Now, c’mon!”

Discarding the glasses and swallowing down the butterflies in his stomach, Max ran to catch up. 


This story was written for the weekly Friday Fictioneers flash fiction photo prompt. 

14 comments:

  1. Sounds like a coming of age story. Believable dialogue. Good job, Jeffrey.

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  2. I agree with Rochelle. Very realistic.

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  3. When young, the shades was what made a guy cool.. Ooops my avatar seems to have shades

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  4. Nice job! Great, realistic dialogue. It's interesting how this prompt challenged us with the time of day. The darkness definitely has played a role.

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  5. I liked your story... a slice of life. Hope he got the girl.

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  6. Dear Jeffrey,

    Great story. True to life and a great slice in time that many of us have experienced. I love the blunt wisdom proffered by Eddie. Glasses? We don't need no stinkin' glasses!

    Aloha,

    Doug

    P.S. Swallowing 'down' somewhat redundant. Just a thought. Cheers. D.

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  7. good one -- reminds me of when fairs were a big deal

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  8. "Dark glasses" after dark--definitely Hollywood chic and Max might give them another try at another time.

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  9. Poor guy. Girls don't like dorks and if his face is that dorky, Trina'still not going to like him. I bet he has zits as well. Ah, well. Next time, he should go shopping for those dark glasses by himself.

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  10. Poor guy. WOnder why he thinks he needs sunglasses to look better to girls. Kinda sad, really.

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  11. Could picture/hear it all happening! :)

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  12. I could visualize this clearly in my head. Well done.

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  13. Excellent! (like we teenagers used to say back in the day). I'd like to hear more of this.

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