Friday, January 25, 2013

Paradise Lost


David wandered aimlessly about the idyllic paradise the brochures proclaimed the island to be. To him, it was anything but that now.

As marriage proposals go, he supposed he could have accepted an endearing refusal, a tender rejection but the look of abject disbelief mingled with chagrined pity was more than his mind could process. 

Before he’d recovered from the blow, Andrea was already packed and gone. His shuffling steps took him ever closer to the white-sand beach and the roaring surf. As the waves lapped about his ankles, he continued walking out to sea with no intention of stopping.



This story was written for the weekly Friday Fictioneers flash fiction prompt based on a photo by Renee Homan Heath. 

9 comments:

  1. Well written I was going this route but my muse took me else where.

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  2. Aww, a sad story for your poor rejected protagonist.

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  3. that's two stories in a row in which a man walked out into the sea without coming back. eeeeerie. but well done.

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  4. Nice juxtaposition of the external idyll and the internal desolation. Thanks for another fine tale.

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  5. Dear Jeffrey,
    Poor guy. I hope he'll rethink before drowning himself. She's not worth it. But your story is. ;)
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

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  6. Hi Jeffrey,
    Rejection can be really hard to handle. If only she had let him down easy. Good story. Ron

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  7. I believed. you affected. nice job.

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  8. How awful he must feel. So sad, yet beautifully written.

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  9. This was brutal for the poor guy. The worst type of pity. 'Packed and gone'... what that feeling would have been like. You made me feel sorry for him.

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