Thursday, February 21, 2013

Rebel Refugee


Silas looked at the burned ties and twisted rails of the bridge with weary frustration. He’d been following this route for three days now and knew, with precious little food and water left to him, he had neither the time nor the strength to find an alternate path across the deep gorge the bridge spanned. 

Of late a corporal in the Army of Northern Virginia, he’d been released from the internment camp with the clothing on his back, an ancient musket, a miserly bit of provisions and a mocking command that he “head south and keep on going”.

Bereft of options, devoid of hope, he had done just that, all the while knowing he had nowhere to go and noone waiting for him to return. Now, slumping to the ground, he wept bitter tears realizing his prayers for succor had gone unheard and that he was, it seemed, every bit as forgotten and abandoned by the Almighty as he had been by his fellow man.


This story was written for the weekly Five Sentence Fiction flash fiction prompt: abandoned.

10 comments:

  1. Really like the last two sentences, great visuals.

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  2. Vivid portrayal of a lone soldier trying to reach someone on his side of the battle.

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  3. A wonderfully dramatic piece. I really like this.

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  4. My emotions were stirred at the dilemma the character is facing, Jeffrey. You depicted his plight beautifully.

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  5. Oh, how awful. I feel so bad for him. Needless to say, it takes good writing to make one feel.

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  6. I love that you've used the picture in your story too, it fits perfectly, I want to cry now, I'm going to have to stop reading these Five Sentence Fictions for this week, they are all so sad!

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  7. wonderful piece, your words brought me right in, fowed nicely, and very touching. Great creative use of the prompt.
    Thanks.
    Randy

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  8. Loved this...great description of lost hope...

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  9. Wonderfully written, so well described, so vivid. Really liked it.

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  10. Sorry to be repetitive but yes, very well written with vivid description of total abandoning.

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